Thursday, 20 June 2013

The truth hurts...

Iv not blogged in a long time - when things get tough I tend to hide away and feel sorry for myself. Usually, it gets better.

This time it won't.
Iv sincerely lost my faith in love, how can it possibly be a good thing when it can go so wrong, and feel so awful


Tuesday, 9 April 2013

A daily addiction

Living in a flat, our post box is three floors down. To most this would sound like a pain in the butt. However, every morning, regardless of if I am going out or not, I will pop down to the post box, 80% of the time it's empty or bills!

It got me thinking when did the world get too busy to write snail mail?
I love getting mail!

Monday, 8 April 2013

What made me smile last week...

Sometimes my posts can be quite heavy.. so I thought I'd lighten it up and write about the highlights of last week!

  1. A week off work- yay for Easter half term.
  2. Easter Eggs for Breakfast - yummy.
  3. A cinema date and the film actually being  fantastic.
  4. Sunday lunch with friends.
  5. Evening snuggles with the boy whilst watching American Pyscho.
  6. The lovely sunshine we were blessed with.
  7. Going for an eye test and being told I had perfect vision.
  8. Phone calls home to my mummy.
  9. My cars shiny new exhaust.
  10. Being happy with saying goodbye to some 'friendships'.

I hope you all have a lovely week to come.


Wednesday, 3 April 2013


My little sister came to stay with me over the Easter weekend, because it was too far to go home to our parents.

I was excited to see her, of course, but I was also nervous, what on earth to I do with an 18
year old girl to keep her entertained for four days!

So, we went out.

And a song came on, whilst singing and dancing away, she said to me, this song reminds me of you every-time  I hear it, because you are the toughest person I know.

This caused me to realise something, people actually do look up to me, most of all my sister. A girl at the age of 18 who is not only made it to uni but is also training for the next Olympics see's me as her inspiration.

It has made all the bad times mean nothing, all the times I found myself wanting to give up on life a ridiculous concept.

Her saying these simple words have given me the drive to get better. I am not a victim. I am a sister, a daughter, a cousin, a friend, a girlfriend, a soon to be graduate, and one day i'll be a survivor of mental illness.

In case you were wondering this was the song...
You've got the love - The source & Candi Staton

girl vs girl.

Living in a world where beauty and popularity is consistently in our line of view from a young age, has created a population where it is very rare for a stranger to be complimentary to another stranger.

Weirdly, enough this post is about something entirely different. On Friday evening, I headed out for a night out with my boyfriend, his friends, my sister and his sister. The night was going really well, until unexpectedly somebody said something outrageously horrible to me. The shock of it all resulted in me crying (I know right I was one of THEM girls crying in a club toilet).

Shame aside, the next day it dawned on me how nice some of the girls had actually been to me. None of which I had met before. They gave me make up to sort my face out, told me I was beautiful and told me whatever it was that had upset me so much it just wasn't worth it.

This evening has played on my mind since, because I cannot remember the last time a stranger was nice to me, particularly a girl.

It has restored my faith in human nature.

Saturday, 23 March 2013

You provoked it with your clothing...

Recently my old housemate came to visit me. She told me she was raped whilst on holiday. Devastating news. She is getting over the trauma as I am getting over the shock of what has happened to her...

But what really hit a cord with me is the negative responses she has had from the people that are supposed to be her support. This included things such as "you deserved it, you flirted with him and dressed like a slut" and "are you sure thats what actually happened?!".

And these comments came from FEMALES.
It's about time people came to their senses and stopped blaming the 'victim' for their attackers actions. There is NO justification for this behaviour.

Friday, 22 March 2013

the thing i hate most

about day to day life, is the constant need to pretend everything is ok.
Imagine how different life would be if everyone was just honest about their feelings.

I hate the act of putting my 'clown face' on and being jolly for other peoples peace of mind, it's draining.